private server game coding

I don't have much experience with game coding, but your going to need C++ knowledge to code, and tweak games. You should check out gamedev.net, it's a great forum for game development.
 
Well. That's a board range to itself.

Coding a custom menu, custom server browser, client things, game behaviors, etc. are all dictated by the game engine's language. Usually, game engines like UDK, use a variant of C++ and you can use their procedures to learn more about what is possible.
 
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