Joke of the day

A

aircontrol

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A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit. She gets two shot glasses, fills one with water and the other with whiskey. After bringing him to the table that has the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says, "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "What do you have to say about this experiment?" He responds by saying, "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!" :)
 
A wife asks her web developer husband "Could you please go to the store for me and buy a carton of milk, if they have eggs, get 12." A short time later the husband comes back with 12 cartons of milk. The wife yells at him, "Why the hell did you buy 12 cartons of milk?!" He replied, "They had eggs."

:victorious:
 
A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit. She gets two shot glasses, fills one with water and the other with whiskey. After bringing him to the table that has the glasses, she brings his bait box. She says, "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "What do you have to say about this experiment?" He responds by saying, "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!
 
The fantastic element that explains the appeal of games to many developers is neither the fire-breathing monsters nor the milky-skinned, semi-clad sirens; it is the experience of carrying out a task from start to finish without any change in the user requirements.
 
An engineer, a manager, and a programmer are riding in a car. They come to a hill and their brakes fail. After careening down the hill and finally coming to a stop they get out to decide what to do. The manager says “We need to have a meeting to form a committee to see what we should do next!” The engineer says, “Screw that! Give me a pocket knife and some duck tape and I’ll have us going in no time!” The programmer looks at them both and says, “Lets push it back to the top and see if it does it again.”

:congratulatory:
 
What does BLOG stand for? A Better Listing On Google. ;)

An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol, whisky, vomit :D

What do pigs and SEOs share in common?
SPAM.

;)
 
Q: Why is Facebook like Jail?
A: You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know!

best-google-jokes-01_zps3f11b79b.jpg

Q: How do you become a millionaire?
A: Start off as a multi-millionaire and invest in Facebook stock.

:D :victorious:
 
Q: How many Web jokers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,623. One to tell the original joke, the rest to give some minor variation of it! ;)

Q: What did the [ISP] employee say when he was in line at the U.S. Post office?
A: Hey - how come you guys work so fast here? :D

Q: How many [ISP] employees does it take to change a lightbulb? (Part 2)
A: To change a lightbulb, press 2. To leave a message for the lightbulb, press 3. To find out what the current status of the lightbulb is, press 4. To find out about our exciting new pricing plans for customers who don't know any better, press 5. :rolleyes:

:victorious:
 
A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour! :p

I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope. :stupid:

An IPv4 address walks into a bar and says: “Quick, give me a drink. I am exhausted!” :congratulatory:
 
Since you like this thread so much here are a few more!

Or perhaps you can tell us WHOIS going to tell us a Domain Name joke? :stupid:

I have tried to tell you IPv4 joke, but you were unreachable :eek:

An ARP request goes to McDonald’s and asks for a Big MAC. :calm:

Q. What did the router say to the doctor?
A. It hurts when IP :congratulatory:
 
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